Everytime my new baby sleeps longer than he should I start through the scenario of how I would react if I found that he had died during the night. Who I would call first. Who I would get them to call. Who I would get to come over to help me with the other children. This is something I have dealt with when all my children are babies. Not only the babies though...I will from time to time think about what I would do if my older children died or if my husband died. Always, it seems, in the immediate aftermath. But then I think, will I trust the Lord?
You will notice that I use the word "will" instead of "would". This is because I have to decide if I am going to live trusting the Lord now, in the moment, or if I am only going to "trust" him when things are hard. My question to myself is, how can I trust the Lord in something as catastrophic as the death of a child or husband if I am not trusting him in my everyday stuff? Do I rest in his sovereignty only when things are mildly tough?
In Proverbs we read:
3:3 Do not let truth and mercy leave you;
bind them around your neck,
3:7 Do not be wise in your own estimation;
In this we see that if we bind truth and mercy around us and write them on our hearts (this means studying Gods word and memorizing scripture), trust the Lord with all our hearts, acknowledge him in all our ways, are not prideful by thinking we are wiser than we are, fear the Lord, and turn from evil, we will gain a multitude of benefits. We will find favor and good understanding in the sight of God and others, guidance in our walk of life that will make our paths strait, we will physically healthier*, and we will have consistent rejuvenation to our souls. Now hear me, this is a big deal! Favor in the sight of the Lord? Guidance that will make our paths strait? Physical health? Rejuvenation for the soul? These are huge things that we can attain by trusting God! This is goooood news! Very exciting stuff just within our grasp.
I want to live in the good stuff not in fear. As I read the word and commune with my Heavenly Father I find it easier and easier to live in the good stuff. I still struggle at times in the day to day things in my life but there is hope for me yet. I choose to trust.
*A little note on the physically healthier comment. I am referring to illness and physical repercussions of stress only. Not anything else. Research has shown how stress can cause many physical side effects as well as shortened life spans. I feel that this is also the context in which the writer was referring also. If you think otherwise please feel free to have a discussion with me. :D
