Tonight as I was checking on my kiddos I opened the door to my daughters room and to my surprise she was still awake. She asked me for some water which I happily got for her and then kissed her goodnight. As I was shutting the door it occurred to me that I am giving my children a life I never had.
My parents did the best they could with what they had, I know, but there were many gaps they did not or could not fill. There was abuse, addiction, various different faiths or none, separations, divorce, "checking out", chaos, affairs, denial, moving, poor finances, the list goes on. Already in their young lives my children have been spared so much. Mommy and Daddy love each other and are faithful, respectful and kind to each other. They are not abused. They have basically "grounded" parents who don't change with the wind. And though I am not in anyway perfect I know that because of the environment we have provided for them they are happy, healthy, well balanced (as much as any child with PDD can be) and very secure in their little worlds.
I truly believe that the Lord let me see this tonight because I needed the encouragement. I fail them in so many ways I can't even begin to list them. My understanding is that we will screw our children up. There is no avoiding it, they are being raised by two sinners. But, my prayer is that it won't be too badly.
Thankfully, I can also see that God can do amazing things despite how parents are. This is my testimony. I am not a product of my childhood. He has made me into a new creation. So if he can do that with me he will be able to do that for my children as well...in spite of me. I am thankful that my God fills in the gaps.
